I just need you
by SomebodyLonely
Summary: Donna and Harvey at the end of 9x08 and thereon
1. It Hurts

**I needed to do something to fix 9x08 ending at least for myself. Hope you all like it too.**

_Donna's POV_

Harvey came back with a stupid smile on his face. I steeled myself because somehow it always came down to me to break his heart. I don't want to do this. I don't want to tear his heart. I can't watch his tears. But I need to do this and he needs me to do this for him. And I would do anything for him.

"Harvey, your mother had a heart attack. She's gone." The words rushed out of my mouth before I could control them. I don't wait to watch him because I don't think I can bear it. So I run and hold him in my arms and press my face in his neck, trying to wordlessly convey all that I can't say.

In my mind, I try to think of words or anything else to do. In all the situations I have ever had to handle in my life, this is the first where I have no idea how to proceed. I think back to the last time this happened when I had to tell him about his dad and remember how I was at a loss of what to do then. Nothing has changed. I still don't know what to do.

My thoughts are all over the place. I think about yesterday and the look on his face as he saw the painting and his stare before he decided to let go of his anger and hurt and really connected with Lily again over the phone. I am so glad that he got that chance, as did Lily. The lightness and joy in his eyes when he came back to bed and as we made love is something I will never forget.

And then I feel guilty for the direction my thoughts have taken because here he is, trying his best to understand the cruel surprise life has given us and I am thinking about myself.

So I get out of my head and lead him to the couch. We just sit there for a very long time, saying nothing and just listening to each other's breaths. An hour passes and Harvey's breathing settles a little.

"Donna!"

He softly sighs and I can hear the pain in his voice.

"We will think about everything tomorrow morning. Just tell me what to do and how to be there for you tonight, Harvey!"

I whisper the words only to look at him already asleep on my shoulder. I try to gently lie him down on the couch and let go of his hand before I go change. However, I feel myself unable to. He is holding me so tightly as if his life depends on it.

So I decide to not disturb him and sit on the floor with my hands wrapped around his. I watch over him all night and press light kisses while trying to simultaneously wipe away my tears. This is my chance to let out my emotions before I figure out how to wrap everything in my head.

Lots of things would need to be done, both for Lily's funeral and for the firm. I mentally make checklists of all the tasks that need to be done and whom they need to be assigned to. By the time I am done, it is already morning.

I get my phone out and call home to tell my parents what has happened. Then I proceed to call Marcus and his family and help them make arrangements for the funeral. My next call is to the firm, requesting a leave of absence for both Harvey and me for the next week. Louis is the next person I talk to and I tell him to gather everybody. And then I make one last call to Mike.

"I don't care where you are and what you are up to or how mad you are at Harvey or the rest of the world. You will get your ass down here tomorrow. Harvey needs you and the rest of his family around him."

"Donna, what happened? Why is your voice shaking?"

"Mike, just get down here. I don't have time for your questions." And I hang up. My mouth can't form those words again. I refuse to break out in a sob, as I know Harvey will be up soon and I don't want him to see me like this.

When I finally stabilize my emotions and look up, Harvey is already up and I panic a little inside. He looks like he has been up for a while and is staring at me with a weird look on his face.

"I am so sorry, Harvey. I did not mean to wake you up. How are you doing? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Donna, calm down and come close. I just need you."

**A/N: This is a two-part story and will conclude in the next chapter. **


	2. Choosing me

**As promised, here is the second chapter to wrap up this short story. **

_Donna's POV_

I watch the towns disappear in a blink through the window. The past hour has been spent in a lot of silence and on Harvey's shoulder. We are both trying to reach a level of acceptance but it is hard.

All I can think about is the chance I missed to meet another member of Harvey's family. I shouldn't feel so sad about it because Harvey is struggling to make sense of it too as the unexpectedness has really been cruel. I am worried about him encountering Bobby too. I don't know where to focus and what all to prepare for. I have only spoken to Harvey's family via phone. I never got to meet them in person. So everything I know about them is what I gathered from those short talks. And now to meet them in these circumstances, I am wracked with nerves.

We make it to Marcus's place in record time. I get introduced to his kids and am rewarded with my first glimpse of Uncle Harvey. That softness that I used to only get glimpses of over the years is overflowing in front of me. I tear up a little and catch Harvey giving me a quick smile as he takes the kids to bed. Marcus leads us to the guest bedroom and we quickly call it a night.

The next few days pass by in a blur as we work towards finishing the preparations from the funeral. Bobby is there but Harvey pretty much ignores him for the entire duration. He is singularly focused on doing his best for his mom this time. It fills me with so much pride and love to witness his growth first hand into this selfless and understanding man.

On the day of the funeral, I see Marcus and his ex-wife talking softly and greeting the guests. It is an intimate affair with only close family and friends. I notice the people from the firm slowly trickle in following Louis and Samantha. I am worried that Mike won't arrive but I am glad to see him follow everybody.

It takes Harvey a minute to notice them but when he does, he takes my hand and squeezes it with glassy eyes. I nod back and give him a quick hug. As it starts to reach the time for his address, he gets a determined look on his face. I see him mentally transform when Marcus announces him. He starts to walk towards the podium and instead stands next to the casket. He looks at me as he starts his speech:

"_Hello! I am Harvey Specter. I thought about what I was going to say for a few days. And then I realized that the best thing I could do is share the story of my mom and me with everybody. I was a young boy with a happy family. But then something happened and my mom and I became estranged for a long time. Bobby here can attest to how much I hated both of them. I held grudges and refused to talk to her for many years. I behaved as a bad son, disrespected her, time and again and she still refused to hold it against me. I recently gained the courage and perspective to make up with her. And she welcomed me back with open arms. All this is to say that life is too short to hold grudges against your loved ones. I learnt that you can't waste time and refuse to share the love you hold for people inside your heart. I love you, Mom. I am sorry I robbed us both of the chance to make it right for so many years but I am glad that I got the last year with you. I cherish all the memories we made and will hold them close for the rest of my life. To my beautiful mom, Lily!"_

There is not a single dry eye in the garden. I watch as Harvey rushes to the parking lot and wait for a few moments before joining him. When I feel like it's enough time for him to collect himself, I walk to join him. Before I do, Louis, Samantha and Mike stop me.

"_What can we do to help?" _They all ask together.

"_Just give us some space. Make sure we are not bothered by work for the remainder of the week."_

"_Please pass our condolences to him. I would do it myself but I know he will feel better hearing them from you."_ Samantha says with an understanding look in her eyes. I can feel her telling me something but I am too emotional and distracted to figure it out.

"_And tell Harvey not to worry. I will look after his clients and manage his schedule effectively. This time without any drama, I swear."_ Louis says earnestly.

"_I know, Louis. I trust you as does Harvey."_

"_I am so sorry, Donna. Rachel chewed me out when she heard what I did when I last visited. I am not here to cause any trouble and I promise I will make things right with him. So much was going on that I took it out on all of you. It won't happen again. I love you guys too much."_

"_I get it, Mike but now is not the time or the place. I appreciate your sentiments but it is enough for both of us to see you here. And we will talk about your bratty behavior when we are back in New York." _

Everybody lets out a light chuckle at that.

"_Now if you will excuse me, I need to go be with Harvey."_

I walk fast to catch him but he is not in the parking lot anymore. I look around and find him walking to what I now know is Bobby's house. And he is not alone. Bobby is walking with him and I can see them talking. So I decide to wait for the people to leave and walk back to Marcus's place.

It's another hour before he gets back. He looks exhausted and I know he needs to wipe this day away. So we both quietly eat and head to bed. I am about to fall asleep in his arms when he says:

"_Donna, I don't have words to thank you for today and the rest of all days. So I am just going to thank you for choosing me, that one time in a bar when I was a cocky asshole and every day since. You know you have been my family for a very long time. But I want to tell you today that you are also my lifeline."_

I tear up because of all the earnest and joking declarations he has ever made to me, this is the most serious one and it break my heart to see him make it as he is still grieving his mother.

"_Harvey, I know. You might not have told me but you have shown me from the day we met. It wasn't just me who chose you. You chose me too. And we will keep doing the same for each other for as long as we both live. You will always have me."_

I make my declaration and emphatically kiss him to show him how much I love him. I hold him tightly to my chest and we both fall asleep wrapped around each other as we have for the last few months. And somewhere deep within us, we both know that we will be all right.

_Fin._

**A/N: This was very hard to right because I saw the trailer for next episode and honestly didn't like the vibe it gave. I am still trying to come to terms with AK's decision and then yesterday, he started tweeting stuff that basically made it worse. Hopefully, you guys like what I came up with even with my sad and depressing mood. Please review to let me hear what you felt!**


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